Leaving Lynn Grabhorn (but not for good)

It’s been a while since I posted anything new to this blog. The gap is the result of moving house and taking a long time to get straight, and being hired for some big writing projects that have kept me busy and alive financially (Lynn’s belief system at work again). The final delay factor was working on a new book about how to build self belief and confidence, which will be the subject of some of my future postings.

I continue to welcome your comments on Lynn and her work, but I have to take a different direction with my own postings. I hope you’ll join me on this new journey, which will begin shortly.

Before I take a vacation from the topic of Lynn’s work, I’d like to post a comment submitted by someone signed in as MKM. I know nothing more about this contributor than his or her email, which I won’t publish without permission. I thought long and hard about publishing this contribution, because I disagree with many of the opinions expressed about Lynn and I don’t like the tone that comes across in parts of what MKM says. But I believe passionately in free speech and that anyone who writes a blog should honor that right, providing a comment isn’t overtly offensive or abusive. Here’s what MKM said, reproduced with no editing:

“I had “Excuse me” foisted on me by one person after another, only to watch the reality that life isn’t all a box of chocolates but a mixture of good and bad and random chance that you have no control over mixed with what you can control slowly dawn on them (basic logic we’re all born with but which we have to intentionally manipulate by throwing money after books and seminars).

The reason Lynn Grabhorn lost her mind is simple and two fold. First, I hear the people who claim to be Christians say that it was because “demons” got her, much like Lynn herself claimed. Which is like watching the two characters from Dumb and Dumber have a duel. There aren’t any little green monsters or invisible men in the sky/shamanistic animals/blah blah nonsense. What happens psychologically to a person who convinces themselves that there are “others” manipulating them is simple – schizophrenia. Cause and effect, anyone?

Lynn’s second problem should be obvious, but then it seems when people spend this much time trying to subjugate their original common sense nothing remains simple or obvious… She wrote a book that not only had the happy go lucky manifest the happy stuff but conversely claimed that anyone who experienced anything bad was “co-creating” it and to blame. So what happened to the guru herself when bad stuff started happening to her? Where could she put the huge burden of self-inflicted blame that she had created with her highly publicized philosophy? She couldn’t slough her misfortunes off to chance or tell herself or anyone around her that she was a good person who was experiencing one of the myriad random happenstances of life. No, she had to “admit” to herself and to everyone around her that she was the biggest failure of all. Try topping off your physical illness, which is already dragging your immune system down, with that kind of mental and emotional drain – that YOU yourself created with your self “help” feel good sell more books drivel.”

Please feel free to respond to this posting as you wish. MKM, I thank you for taking the time to express your views. Here are my final words on this topic for now:

I’m very happy that people are communicating through the blog and offering to help each other. Many of you have raised similar issues, so before I move off the subject of Lynn’s work for now, I thought it might be helpful to recap a few of my personal beliefs about making her philosophy work. I would urge anyone who’s serious about using what Lynn taught to consider the following:

Keep reading Excuse Me Your Life is Waiting until you’re confident that you really understand its relevance to your life and it has become like second nature to think that way.

Practice makes perfect, but if you practice diligently and Lynn’s philosophy doesn’t work, this may not be the right route for you to take.

Buy the follow up book, The Excuse Me Your Life is Waiting Playbook, in which Lynn took the concepts from Excuse Me and transformed them into a complete workbook for self-empowerment.

Don’t try to “escape” negative thoughts – it’s impossible. If someone says, “Don’t think of an elephant,” what’s the first thing you think of? If you try to block out negative thoughts that will be what you focus on. Just accept that they will arise and then use Lynn’s “flip” technique to turn them back into a positive thoughts.

Don’t eliminate any of your wants because they seem overwhelmingly large. Right now, they may be too big to achieve all at once, but that doesn’t mean you can’t work toward them one step at a time. The greatest truism ever stated is that every journey begins with the first step.

As for the last two books Lynn wrote, depicting her so-called “dark side,” I’m taking the coward’s way out. I’m just not ready to read them yet. I haven’t explored Excuse Me deeply enough to want a diversion into a new train of thought. When I’m ready, I’ll re-open this topic on the blog and be completely honest about my feelings about those final two books.

Please continue to communicate with each other about Lynn’s work and your feelings about her. I will post any comments that don’t offend. I thank you all for contributing to the dialogue about Lynn, who is someone I regard as a very important and influential author.

I wish you happiness and peace of mind.

About John Scriven

John Scriven is an English author, scriptwriter, songwriter and video producer. He has many years of experience in corporate training, marketing, communications, and video production. After a stint in the London world of advertising, John joined the European affiliate of Exxon where he held a variety of management positions in marketing and communications. Frustrated with corporate life, John formed his own company, through which he wrote scripts, produced videos, and consulted as a training coach to some of the UK’s largest companies. In 1992, he sold his share of that company and came to live in America, where he continues to write and produce for all kinds of organizations. Over time, John realized that although he was successfully self-employed, he was not devoting enough time to his number one passion, which is writing self-help and business development books. Since that realization, John has authored a series of books that help people to become more fulfilled in their personal lives and more successful in their business endeavors. Through his creative writing skills, John has drawn on his wide-range of life experiences to write entertaining and informative books that provide creative solutions for a better quality of life.
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10 Responses to Leaving Lynn Grabhorn (but not for good)

  1. Louise Bolani says:

    Thank you for bringing it down to earth!

    For a moment I considered dropping all ideas that we have any power over our lives out of fear of ending up blaming myself for all bad that will ever happen to me. But with your comforting view on the matter, I prefer to go as far as it feels right (and the evil force of demons is way too far), and get the most out of Lynn´s philosophy only without the selfblame…

    It seems that there IS a kind of destiny that operates, and that we sometimes can manipulate it – sometimes not. As if life sometimes forces us to reconsider and ask ourselves on and on: what are the possibilities? If this is too hard, maybe theres another way, that´s easier? Maybe I don´t know everything?!! As one of Louise Hays affirmations says: “I am living the best way, I know how”. Well, you can only do your best. And another affirmation: “I no longer wait to be perfect in order to love myself”. I guess perfection is one of our biggest challenges now that we are accepting more and more responsibility for our lifepaths.

    None of us are God – we are all human – whatever that means?!
    – maybe that´s the real challenge!

    Once again: Thank you for your inspiration.

    /Louise Oona Bolani


  2. Esme says:

    Hi all :)
    Lynn’s book “excuse me…” was extremely powerful and helpful to me. Still is when I pick it up from time to time.

    Everyone exits this reality we call life.

    Whatever one’s beliefs- whether it’s moving to
    another dimension spiritually, going up or down or sideways… We all go …

    It was her time. Was she supposed to live in her body forever just because she wrote books about raising your frequency and vibration?

    Bless her.

    Thank you Lynn Grabhorn.



  3. earl west says:

    First -wish to sincerely commend and thank John Scriven for his intelligent and thoughtful perspective(s) regarding Lynn and her truly significant contributions. Really..thank you. I have to also note – it is so satisfying and great reading all the earnest letters excluding the ..first in position-whose banal -“observations” i just can,t dignify with any considered response. to me- every time i re-start reading “Excuse me” fresh insights and or a -shifted perspective rewards me. she is truly in a class of originality also if anyone has -as i definitely do- difficulty “feeling” the desired object/state as if it were present–do what Lynn and others have suggested–reach for feeling better- even incrementally –hey! that really works– and ..my very first .acknowledgment? What a co-incidence! then ..dawning ..Oh .and i have to say i..have read and reread- several times the book -“Dear God..and guess what? there is to me–a practical help in one maintaining -consciously – feeling good or at least better to feel that i’m providing nourishment to a more noble and enlightened group. if one views the “opposing” forces as lower/higher vibrations sans “entificating ” energetic forces- that book can be seen -i feel- in a positive and practical light. and i certainly agree–Lynn,s decision to exit -“physicality” is her considered choice. many do and have done this -from sudden infant death -to young “arrivals” choosing to “abort” to adults with varying degrees of “wisdom” you know…we really know so little of the concurrent divers dramas and their applications in this unfathomable realty. God bless Lynn..earl…


  4. Lisa says:

    I agree completely with the comments being made. Lynn did what she had to do in life and sometimes you need to know when to leave the party so to speak.

    I have been a follower of her ideaology for over a year now. Things haven’t changed too much for me materialistically but I have to say, in order for things to change in your life when using Lynn’s teachings, you have to change yourself on the inside. This took a very long time for me to realize. I know that probably sounds daft to everyone but I’m now starting to get it. I was missing one of the pieces and I want to share this because I feel it’s very important.

    I’m in a job which I absolutely hate. It’s far from my home and it’s caused major rifts with me and my boyfriend. I would try to be upbeat and I was thinking I was but little things started to grate on me. Irritating colleagues, boredom and so on. Then I remembered what Lynn said. If you want to change your situation, you need to find something to like about it. So, I have recently started to write all the things that I love about my job. (the people, the personal perks) And yesterday I received a phone call from a job agency about a job that sounds brilliant. The location is spot on, the wages are higher than my expectations and I know that I would be fabulous and I would enjoy it. But….

    Inside of me I’m absolutely terrified. I don’t want this to pass me by. And this fear, I’m scared, is going screw everything up.

    I guess I need to keep going with the appreciation of my current job to attract the interview that I so crave to the job opportunity that was presented to me yesterday.

    I hope that this makes sense and i’m sorry if I have rambled on.

    In closing, I guess the best thing to do is to keep at it. This (like a diet) is a lifestyle change. Don’t get discouraged. I know what I need to do. Happiness is a choice. You can choose to walk down the street and grump at the noise and the traffic and the rude people, or you could slow down, look at the flowers growing, see the children laughing and notice that the sun is out. It’s up to you.


    • shelley perham says:

      Ok Lisa, you can do this… you are already talking yourself out of it tho.

      So… this is what you need to do. Sit yourself down, and shut off to all other thoughts. Imagine what it would like to be offered this job. Visualize the head of HR ringing you up and informing you that you have been successful. What does it feel like, what can you see, feel, smell etc. What would it look like to be working in this place, who would your friends be, how would the relationship be with your boyfriend. Gosh I am vibrating already! Come on this is what Excuse me teaches you. Just stop thinking of everything else, just life ‘As If’ (Live as if you already have this job, its a very powerful technique). And then, do some mental rehearsal for the interview. Imagine yourself in your best suit, striding into the office, shaking hands, being confident. Imagine yourself getting along well with the person interviewing you, both of you smiling, answering the questions with ease and humor, imagine the interviewer thinking ‘this is the one for us’, imagine shaking hands as you leave and feeling good about your interview.

      Mental rehearsal is the most powerful tool here and its what helped me win 5 Supreme Championships in my chosen sporting field (and I have no book to sell). Its amazing and magical. Get to it and good luck! Shelley


  5. John Scriven says:

    This comes from Sandy:

    Nice work you’ve done. It does make one weary to act as a teacher and apologist at the same time. Most people don’t realize that saints in their human life were usually real bastards, which didn’t invalidate the information and advice that came through them. Personally, I wouldn’t have wanted to come within 15 feet of Mother Teresa, but who can argue with her work?

    I no longer use the word believe in my discussions. I am careful to clarify that I believe nothing however, there are a few things I do KNOW and that which I know is true for me. That’s the end of the discussion.

    Be well. Please keep your blog going. The LOA does bring the loons and would be apostles, but that’s the price of a complex reality.


  6. deb says:

    Hi Everyone , I came across Lynn’s books at the book store one day while looking for a knitting pattern for a soon to be first grandbaby. I read most of the book and than started in on the workbook. The second page I felt was quite alarming for it made me feel the fear of challenging a basic belief system I had grown up with, which was Christianity. I knew I was treading on sacred ground and realized this kind of work is not for the faint of heart. Wanting to surpass all resistance I continued on the path of this enlightenment and am still uncovering some basic truths that can effect real change in our reality. I feel her intention was not to cause harm but to help people to see the chains that have been placed on us many years ago. We can no longer be complacent about the atrocities we have been committing on the universe as a whole. I believe she was a lead in to a much more important topic than insanity. I know she was far out but that is what it takes to effect change. I can see that she knew what her soul purpose was and she completed it as far as she was concerned. And that is really all there is for me to say to her besides THANK YOU for her courage. With much respect and love I write this. Deb Keller


  7. Dana S. Lopez says:

    I was very impressed with Lynn Grabhorn’s Excuse Me Your Life Is Waiting. I hoped to find her website and thank her but then I found this site and that she has passed. She was a smart and pleasant woman and wherever she is, I hope she knows she has helped people. I have just read the book and started but I will keep you posted on how it works for me.


  8. Nancy says:

    Hello All. I feel that the comments that Lynn’s work was drivel and that she was tormented when her own approach didn’t work for herself, miss the point.

    1) Let her good spirit go…be done with it. ..keep what is good from “Excuse Me”, continue to use it.

    2) Let the poor women be. She did a great service with her book. How she died is not the issue, it is:

    Do her writings have value, have the helped people lead better lives. And many reading this know the answer to that is YES.

    Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth.
    End of story
    Thanks for reading.
    Nancy in California


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