BE YOURSELF, EVERYONE ELSE IS TAKEN

I hope Oscar Wilde will forgive me from beyond the grave for borrowing his quote.

For me, authenticity is one of the most important qualities or characteristics anyone can possess. Authenticity is easy to avoid, because you don’t have to be in Hollywood to be a good actor. But what is authenticity? For me, the answer is simple. It’s being true to who you really are at your core: your true inner self; the real you. Here are the key benefits to living an authentic life:

  • You don’t have to adopt and struggle to maintain a false, inauthentic persona for the benefit of others.
  • If you’re inauthentic, you’ll pursue false aspirations and desires, along with bogus goals. That’s all you can pursue when you’re not being yourself. Authenticity frees you to achieve goals you truly want, ones that reflect your true desires.
  • When you’re authentic, you’re trustworthy and reliable, because you’re genuine and open, not lurking behind some role you’ve created for the world to see.
  • Authenticity allows you to say to the world, “This is me. Accept me as I am or don’t accept me at all. There isn’t any more; no hidden personality that you’ll never see; no secret agenda and no deceit. Take me as I am and I’ll do the same for you.”

I must admit that being authentic is scary. Human beings have an innate ability to be different things to different people and it feels safe to have a persona within which you can hide the real you. On the other hand, it takes courage and confidence to open yourself up to the world and live your truth. But the rewards are immense.

Once you master the art of being the real you, life will become easier, more enjoyable and infinitely more rewarding. You will boost your self-confidence, raise your self-esteem and increase your belief in yourself. Who doesn’t want those things?

So how will you know when you’re being authentic? It’s an intuitive and instinctive judgment. We all have a place deep in our hearts where we can’t fool ourselves and your heart will tell you the truth. That truth will inspire you, because you’ll be in spirit and not just in form.

You’ll also know from the reactions of people around you. Some won’t like your authenticity for all kinds of reasons. If they know they can’t replicate it, for example, they may be envious of you. But the people who matter and genuinely care for you will be delighted. They may have already caught glimpses of who you really are and will revel in your permanent emergence from the shadow world of pretense. Here are a few things you can do to help move you towards authenticity:

  • Put aside every opinion you’ve ever heard from others about who you are and the persona and characteristics you possess. Decide for yourself who you are at your core and what kind of person you want to be.
  • Define your dreams. What are the things you love doing and what do you want to achieve with your life? Decide what it is that you feel passionate about.
  • Discard any mistaken identities you’ve taken on for the benefit of others. Ignore what other people want you or need you to be. Live the identity and persona you want to have.
  • Recognize that you are a unique individual with unique skills, traits and personal characteristics.
  • Define the goals in life that you truly want to achieve for yourself and develop a plan that will move you closer to meeting them.
  • Live in the moment, anchored in the present, ignoring the past and not being apprehensive about the future. If you find yourself speculating about the future, be as factual and realistic as you can in imagining how life might unfold for you.

I feel so strongly about this topic that I’ve written a short book about it! And I’m giving it away! Click the image below to download your free PDF, no obligation or email required. I wish you success in your new-found career as the real you!

Notes From The Road To Authenticity by John Scriven

 

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HOW THIS BOOK HELPED TO SAVE MY LIFE


Get Rid Of Negative Thoughts by John ScrivenI haven’t posted to this blog for a while, because in July, 2015, I was diagnosed with cancer. I didn’t know it at the time, but I was about to become very glad that I’d written a book called Get Rid of Negative Thoughts.

Earlier in the month, I’d noticed a lump on the left side of my neck. It didn’t cause me pain, but it was growing. Some instinct told me to get this checked out. My primary care physician is a good diagnostician, but he was baffled by this lump, which was disturbing. He referred me to an Ear, Nose and Throat specialist who sent me for a biopsy. In early August, the shattering results came in. I had B-Cell Lymphoma in two places in my neck.

The first thing I learned was that if this aggressive type of cancer goes untreated, you measure your life expectancy in months. I was sent for a full body scan but was not able to take it because I had high blood sugar levels. I went back to my GP and he diagnosed me with diabetes.

At that moment I was deluged in negative thoughts such as denial and disbelief, a whiny “why-me” bunch of thoughts and a feeling of how unfairly life was treating me. I don’t deserve this, I wailed to myself. But I’d written a book about these kinds of moments and I immediately recognized that I couldn’t afford the luxury of negative, self-pitying thoughts. I had to fight off my Mind Gremlins and go positive right away. And I did. I determined that I would beat both these diseases and would reaffirm that fact constantly throughout my treatment with inspiring thoughts about winning my battle.

In the meantime, I’d been referred to Atlanta Cancer Care and was lucky to be taken on by Dr. Seay (pronounced See) who was something of a rock star in the cancer world. I immediately trusted him and his prognosis. He recommended 6-8 treatments of R-Chop chemotherapy, which consisted of the IV infusion of a cocktail of drugs. He warned me not to listen to other people’s war stories about chemo, because every patient reacted differently. Unfortunately, I didn’t react well.

The first two treatments weren’t too bad, but after treatment three I felt exhausted, with intense fatigue, weakness and nausea. Every treatment thereafter became more difficult as I grew weaker and suffered chemo-induced nerve damage.

But my resolve to beat this affliction held firm as I put into practice everything I’d written about in Get Rid of Negative Thoughts. There was another vital factor in my recovery and that was the loving support of my partner Georgia. She took me to every medical visit and sat through every chemo treatment with me, even though it was very tedious for her. The love and support she gave me was a huge factor in keeping up my spirits.

Finally, after a seven-month slog, I was declared cancer free at the end of February this year. It was a very happy day. Chemo was brutal, but it saved my life. I wouldn’t have survived without this treatment, which took care of the physical side of the disease, but neither would I have survived without overcoming negative thoughts, which took care of the mental side of my treatment. All my powers of positive thinking were required to withstand the effects of chemotherapy. I believe that generating positive thoughts helped to boost my depleted immune system and increase my strength to fight off this horrible illness.

I am now getting better with every passing day and I thank God that I wrote a book called Get Rid of Negative Thoughts. For more details on this life-saving book, watch the video below.

To purchase this or any of John’s eBooks, please click the link below.

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Tales From Wurryland: How to Stop Worrying and go with Flow of Life

Worry and stress will drain your life force, erode your spirit and prevent you from reaching your full potential.

Here’s a book that will inspire you to quit worrying and start living out loud.

TALES FROM WURRYLAND by John ScrivenIf you’re prone to worry, you’ll know that it can be debilitating and a colossal waste of energy. Add stress and anxiety to the mix and you have a recipe for the prevention of living life to the full. I know because I’ve been there, done that, and have a closet full of T-shirts.

Tales From Wurryland features stories from the trenches about real people who faced real worries. Some of them dealt with their problems successfully, others not so much. But either way, you’ll learn from them what works and what doesn’t.

In this book I’m passing on practical, proven solutions that I’ve used for years. They’ve helped me to overcome the debilitating power of negative thought patterns in the long association I once had with worrisome emotions.

If you’re living in Wurryland, this is an opportunity to learn about techniques that will help you to pack up and move out for good.

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Building A Small Businesses

12 Keys To Building A Successful Small Business By John ScrivenThe corporate world no longer offers employment security or a guaranteed future, and downsizing has exacerbated the rampant unemployment affecting communities all across the country. A weak economy is showing no signs of an immediate recovery and the vast majority of people have lost confidence in the ability of Congress or the Administration to right the ship.

The remorseless expansion of government interference in our lives continues and is fueling people’s desire for more freedom of choice in their lives. Restrictive regulations and Obamacare are affecting even the biggest corporations and making life uncertain for people who once thought they had financial security. By the time young people reach retirement age, social security could be a thing of the past.

These are just a few of the reasons that more and more people are thinking of starting their own businesses. When you’re self employed, you stand or fall by your own decisions and actions, and you control your own financial destiny. Any small business can be affected by outside influences. Despite that fact, you still have way more control over your life than if you work for a large organization and an executive downsizing decision paints a target on your back.

Small businesses have always been the true engine of economic stability and growth, and that still holds true today despite tough economic conditions. It’s true that many small business start-ups fail, but I believe that’s mainly due to aspiring business owners not educating themselves sufficiently before diving headlong into a new business venture.

I‘ve been running small businesses in one form or another for more than 25 years and I’m passionate about the health and success of the small business world. For that reason, we’ve added my Business Help eBooks to the blog. 

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Lynn Grabhorn, the Law of Attraction and The Art of Manifestation

I have long thought that Wayne Dyer is the most authentic and insightful of all the contemporary spiritual teachers espousing metaphysical solutions to life’s problems.

In a conversation with Oprah Winfrey on her TV network, he compares the Law of Attraction, as described in programs such as The Secret, to the art of manifestation. Here’s the video of this brief conversation:

This comparison struck a chord with me, because it offers a possible explanation for why the Law of Attraction fails to work for so many people. It also explains why other processes or systems, such as that advocated by Lynn Grabhorn, have limited success.

The fundamental problem with the Law of Attraction is that it appears to say that you only have to wish for what you want and it will appear in your life. That’s pretty much what Lynn says in Excuse Me, Your Life is Waiting, when she tells us to focus on what we want and to get into the feeling of having it, as if it has already arrived. That, too, encourages wishful thinking although, to be fair, Lynn does take it further than just wishing.

What Wayne Dyer says he has learned is that we don’t attract into our lives what we want; we attract what we are. So we have to align ourselves with what he calls “the divine source”, whatever that source is to each of us personally.

If I’m interpreting that thought correctly, I guess it says that if you want to attract love into your life you have to become a loving person towards others. I’m not sure how that applies to wealth, though. If you start acting as if you’re already wealthy, you could be treading the path to crippling debt and bankruptcy. Perhaps it means that you have to be generous with others in direct proportion to your personal financial situation.

As always, this is all food for thought, with no perfectly gift-wrapped answers to put under the tree. As a wise man once said, the supreme irony about the mystery of life is that you have to die to solve it.

I wish you a joyful holiday season and a happy, healthy New Year in which you manifest the things your heart most desires.

John

 

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The Philosopher and The Worrywart: A Metaphor about Negative Thinking and its Damaging Effects

rushing_waterThe following story is based on an old parable, which I have expanded to make a point about the damaging effects of negative thinking.

 Two men are traveling to an adjacent town on business. One has a philosophical outlook on life, while the other is a lifelong worrywart.

The two men have decided to make the three-mile journey on foot, so they can enjoy the unexpected sunshine of a warm October day and benefit from some much-needed exercise. The philosopher wears a short-sleeved shirt, lightweight pants and comfortable shoes. He sports a pair of sunglasses. Despite the warm autumn weather, the worrywart is wearing a raincoat and a hat, and clutches an umbrella tightly in his hand. He distrusts meteorologists and worries about their predictions being wrong.

If the worrywart would trust his senses, they would tell him that this is not a short spell of freak weather. The sunshine looks certain to last. But he is too overwhelmed by negative thoughts to listen to the voice of intuition that often whispers to him. The constant buzz of negative static in his turbulent mind drowns out the voice of his long-ignored inner self.

When the two men reach the river that lies between them and the next town, they discover that a recent flash flood has washed away the only bridge across the river. The philosopher points to an outcrop of rock that extends out into the rushing river. He suggests that they walk to the end of the outcrop to get a better view, so they can figure out where to cross the swollen river.

The worrywart thinks this is a bad idea. “What if we fall in?” he asks.

“We’ll probably get wet,” replies the philosopher philosophically.

Reluctantly, the worrywart follows his phlegmatic companion onto the small peninsular, because he’s even more worried about being seen as a wimp than falling into the river.

Years of negative, pessimistic thinking have burned an extreme and unnecessary sense of caution into the worrywart’s mind, so he behaves accordingly. He creeps onto the outcrop as if walking a tightrope strung across Niagara Falls. Convinced that he will lose his footing at any moment, he reaches out and grabs the philosopher’s arm. This throws the philosopher off balance and both men tumble into the churning white water below.

The icy shock of the water immediately convinces the worrywart that he will freeze to death before he even has the chance to drown. But his unwarranted perception of the danger he is in has not diminished his ability to worry about trivia, so he clutches at his umbrella, worried that he might lose it in the swirling torrent. He then strikes out for the river bank, swimming frantically and awkwardly against the natural flow of the current.

The raincoat he didn’t need to wear becomes waterlogged and his flailing efforts to resist the tug of the river soon exhaust him. As he sinks beneath the rushing water and drowns, his last thought is about his appearance. He’s not wearing his best suit and worries that he won’t look good when they drag his body from the river.

While the worrywart’s anxiety is cutting short his stay on the planet, the philosopher has decided that it’s useless to fight the river. There’s no danger of his lightweight clothes becoming waterlogged, so he keeps his head above water and allows the river to take him where it will.

After throwing him around for a while, the easing current deposits the philosopher on a small sandy beach on the opposite bank. From this point it’s only a short distance into town. As he sits quietly on a rock, drying out in the warm sunshine, the philosopher thinks about the worrywart. Why is it, he wonders, that some people think so negatively about life that it can literally kill them?

The philosopher can’t think of an answer to that question so, being a philosopher, he shrugs, rises from the warm rock and goes into town to report the worrywart’s needless demise.

The Moral of the Story

Like most metaphors, this story is an oversimplification, but it still provides a useful analogy about life. If we continually harbor negative thoughts, we’ll struggle against life and fight its natural flow. That will make life unpleasant in a variety of ways.

Even if it doesn’t cut short our lives, negative thinking that manifests itself as worry  will restrict our ability to pursue our true desires. It will reduce our potential to enjoy life to the full and be true to ourselves. We can learn something else from this story. If we focus our minds in the present moment, let go and follow the natural flow of life’s events, we will probably end up where we were meant to be in the first place.

Go With The Flow and Grow

The philosopher didn’t worry about where the river was taking him. He went with its natural flow and concentrated on his immediate need to keep his head above water and continue breathing. He trusted that the river would eventually deposit him somewhere safe. The worrywart drowned because he struggled against the natural flow of the river. Think of life as a river and go with its flow.

Once you have mastered flowing, there’s another step, which is to allow yourself to grow. Think about growing a favorite plant. Once you have placed a plant in the earth you need to water it and maybe give it some organic plant food. But it won’t grow and flourish if you worry about it and keep pulling it up to see if the roots are alright.

So as well as going with the flow, be like a plant and grow with the flow.

For help and solutions with negative thinking, check out my book at the Amazon Kindle Store.

GET RID OF NEGATIVE THOUGHTS: 15 Proven Ways to Unleash The Power of Positive Thinking. Just click the book for more information.

Get Rid Of Negative Thoughts by John Scriven

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Lynn Grabhorn: A Possible Explanation

I recently received a very interesting email from Diana Huston, who has an idea about what happened to Lynn Grabhorn toward the end of her life. I’m publishing it below, unedited for content. Here it is:

“I suspect that Lynn began her positive re-framing work and took it to a high degree of self development. But with the apparently disastrous turn her life took, it appears to me that she became unbalanced in her approach.

I hope this doesn’t come as a shock to anyone, but none of us are really human beings and we’re here to play a game. We are spiritual beings of tremendous power and light. And when an aspect of our consciousness comes into the human body to play the human game of life we come into a set of rules or laws by which a 3-D universe is run ruled by polarity; light and dark, good, bad, up down, in, out, etc.

Like the game of checkers, we need the ‘bad guys/criminals’ to be on the other team in order for there to be ‘good guys/cops’ team of players. Oh, and by the way, one of the rules of the game for most of us is that we want to forget our true identity as spirit beings, so that we can really believe that we’re helpless, puny little humans. Otherwise how could I get to play victim if I remembered that I’m this really powerful being?

One of the games of life Lynn was playing was the game of transformation. A great game! My most favorite! :) Every game has it’s ‘other side’, just like on a checker board. When we get involved with work that makes us really happy (the red squares on the checker board) that we love, etc., we also throw a ‘shadow’ effect, ie: (the black squares on the checker board). This can be seen with great athletes like Tiger Woods, incredible ministers who turn out to be involved with a very dark side in their lives that shock people because they seem so ‘good’.

We are neither good nor evil; we are spirits in human form who are powerful, whole and complete in our ‘regular’ true Identity. And we have to learn to balance and integrate the shadow side of our psyche as a human so that it doesn’t come to haunt us once we decide that we want to do something that is to the light/right/good side of the energy scale of polarity. I suspect that it’s more fun to be a bad guy, than a good guy :)

Here’s an example. I had a person call me having been referred by a friend who was in a ‘situation’. In my game I am Native American and do rituals and ceremonies in my own life. In my journey people have asked me to help if I can. Frequently people ask me to do what some people would call ‘revenge magic’, which is an uninformed way of trying to bring balance in their lives.

Such ideas are based on superstitious practices, etc, without a true understanding that we are dealing with a complex entity in that we are, as a human, operating on basically three levels of consciousness; subconscious lower which is like a small, but powerful child that can go berserk, conscious middle, our everyday normal self, and Super Conscious Higher.

The subconscious, lower can only get ideas through imagery, metaphors, and symbolism. Ceremony and rituals harness that power of this part of us to do as we direct.

So I told her that she needed to do this work herself, and I carefully explained the balance that she needed. I helped her outline the dramatic part of her ceremony that would honor her angry, fearful and hurt part of her psyche (to help her little kid self not go berserk) then switch to a higher frequency of love and forgiveness (for Super Conscious part). Then lovingly and gently return the balanced energy to the source that it is coming from; as in ‘return to sender—bomb neutralized to harm none and bring benevolence to all’ (When people are in a negative situation/relationships with others there are unwanted energies that are being directed their way that need to be neutralized, rendered harmless and blessed).

Since this energy isn’t your energy, but belongs to the other party, it needs to go back to it’s source. BTW, this is a great way to render harmless a stalker—works wonders!)

This ceremony will bring balance to both the shadow, will honor the higher needs, and bring blessings to all involved. Rituals, ceremonies assist us to live whole and fulfilled lives. Think of Christmas, holidays, birthday parties, all kinds of ways that people celebrate in ritual fashion. It goes back to the beginning of time.

Anyway, Lynn, I believe, was unaware of the need to address her shadow self and it came out in a very stressful and painful manner in her life. I don’t know if her entity that she was battling with was a real entity or her own self created disembodied entity such as a repressed poltergeist. I just know had she known how to do light work and balance the shadow side of her psyche things could have turned out much differently.

If this makes any sense of you or anyone else, there’s an excellent book which is small and easy to read that goes more into this called Owning Your Own Shadow by Robert A Johnson. Jungian analyst, lecturer and author.

For more insight into who we really are and how to be happy on this planet, please go to this website:
http://www.lovingthegameoflife.com/, written by my dear friend, coach, lecturer and amazing teacher, Beverly Nadler.

I hope this is helpful. Diana”

Thanks, Diana, for an intriguing and absorbing post.

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